Dear Society, Mind Your Own Business
These self-proclaimed "open-minded," "educated," and "understanding" folks often take personal offense when met with the simple response of "we aren't interested." It's as if your decision to not procreate is a direct affront to their own life choices, a challenge to their deeply ingrained belief that procreation is the ultimate purpose of human existence.
Amongst this inquisitive bunch, the relatives are a special breed. They're the ones who pop up at weddings, their curiosity piqued by your childless state.
Picture this: you're at a cousin's wedding, amidst a sea of relatives, when suddenly, a group of well-meaning aunties whisk you away to a corner. Before you can protest, they've whipped out a platter of offerings and are chanting mantras for a 'pooja for gaud bharai' – a ritual traditionally performed for expectant mothers. You stand there, bewildered and slightly amused, as they shower you with blessings for a child you haven't even planned for. It's their subtle way of hinting that your biological clock is ticking, and you're not getting any younger. But instead of feeling belittled, you can't help but chuckle at their misguided attempt to nudge you towards parenthood.
Then there are the friends, those who should, in theory, understand your perspective. But alas, even they fall prey to the societal pressure of procreation. In the realm of parenthood persuasion, there are two distinct types of friends who seem to have mastered the art of emotional manipulation.
First, we have the 'pro-kids' enthusiasts, armed with an arsenal of heart-tugging anecdotes and misty-eyed tales of parental bliss. They'll paint a rosy and idyllic picture of parenthood to make you feel guilty for not wanting to join their ranks.
Then there are the 'family pressure' converts, those who've succumbed to the relentless expectations of their clan and now view child-rearing as a non-negotiable life stage. They'll project their own experiences onto you, unable to comprehend why you'd willingly deviate from the well-trodden path of procreation.
Both these types share a common trait: an uncanny ability to disarm your logic with an emotional touch. They'll counter your well-reasoned arguments with heart-touching anecdotes and appeals to tradition, hoping to sway you with a sprinkle of their sentimental magic. They paint heartwarming pictures of family gatherings and promise care in old age, but many of these advocates don't even live or ever lived near their own parents or in-laws.
“Revolutionary Didi” – that’s my undercover superhero name, whispered in hushed tones by those who are somehow related to you. Why, you ask? Because I dare to convey my unfiltered thoughts and dance to my own beat. And those grumpy souls- “You can go to hell”? Here’s to rebellion, authenticity, and a splash of devil-may-care attitude.
Ah, and our house help – the sprinkle of intrigue on this curious cake! She, who was wed at 14 (ya still happens in remote parts of India), now juggles three kids of her own. One of her offspring has already bestowed upon her the illustrious title of “granny.” And here’s the twist: she’s a whole decade younger than yours truly! With an air of innocence and unwavering authority, she proclaims, “Didi, ek bacha to karna jaroori hai.” There you have it – our delightful house help, dropping wisdom like confetti.
And of course, there is the inevitable chorus of "What will society say?" As if society is some grand council of judgmental elders, sitting in a dimly lit room, scrutinizing our every move. Who exactly is this all-knowing, all-seeing entity that we're so afraid of? We are society, and our choices shape it, not the other way around. So, the next time someone throws the "what will society say?" card at you, remember this: your choices matter, your voice matters, and your life is yours to design.
To the inquisitive minds who find our reproductive choices a topic of fascination, we offer this gentle reminder: our decision to not have children is as valid as your decision to have them. It's an intimate choice. While we appreciate your concern (or perhaps, curiosity), we'd rather you focus on your own lives and let us navigate ours. And if you've got a hankering for adding a couple more bundles of joy to this wild and wonderful world, well, we won't stand in your way. In fact, we'll throw confetti and cheer you on as the official members of the "Bringing More Kids into This Circus Club!" Join the parenthood parade, and we'll be your loudest cheerleaders, ready to celebrate the chaos and cuteness that awaits.
Life’s little paradoxes served with a side of chai.
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